Pirates offline
by Pikazilla
Summary: The story of how one pirate changed the world.
1. Intro

In the open seas of the Caribbean, pirates control everything. One pirate will send the planet into an apocalyptic state of disaster and destroy everything he touches. However, we couldn't find the story, so we'll tell you about The Diary of the Dark Dragons. Don't be fooled by their names, they are actually the most fun loving pirates of all time (oh crap, a lame ass story).

The founding members are Tom Shipwrecker (an ancestor of Bill Cosby, despite the fact that Tom is white) and Shadow the Shark (not shadow the hedgehog).


	2. June 5, 1747

**June, 15, 1747**

**Pirate log-Shadow**

**About 3:00-5:00pm**

Yet again, my captain, Tom, is sailing across the ocean, hoping that something will happen.

**Tom: **Isn't this relaxing?

**Shadow: **Relaxing? **We've been sailing for 3 days!!!**

**Tom: **Patience, soon, we'll find something special to do.

The only thing worse than getting cabin fever is that I'm the only member of the crew besides the captain himself, we're on a one mast sloop (The Sea Dragon) and we have no reputation except hanging out with random pirates. However, we quickly noticed something on the horizon.

**Tom: **Shadow, look. A ship!

**Shadow: **Really?

I grabbed the telescope and looked at the ship.

**Shadow: **Galleon, two masts and three stories tall. No lookouts.

Tom stomped his foot.

**Tom: **This is perfect! A slow ship with a huge blind spot. The easiest target. Prepare the grappling hooks Shadow.

**Shadow: **Sir!

Tom sailed our ship behind the galleon. The name of the ship was Wildlife Hunter Voyager.

**Shadow: **Wildlife hunter? Gay.

**Tom:**(laughing) so true (continues laughing)

**Pirate: **Who's there?

A pirate on the Voyager heard us, but couldn't find us behind the Voyager's blindspot. The pirate returned to his bedroom.

**Shadow: **That was close.

**Tom: **True. Hurry, shoot a grappling hook into the ship, we don't want to lose it.

I shot a grappling hook into the stern of the ship. When the hook landed, discolored water leaked out of the ship.

**Shadow: **Oh crap, it's crap!

**Tom: **You shot into the head's (Toilet's) storage container? (laughing) The poopdeck has a leak.

**Shadow: **Well, at least no one will see the hook.

**Rick: **Hey Brown Beard, you made a brown crap.

**Brown: **Shut up Rick. Wait, that's metal.

**Rick: **Wow, your ass isn't the only thing with crap in it.

We heard a gun shoot and a carcass fell off the ship.

**Pirate: **What was that splash?

**Brown: **A big fish. Looked like a shark.

**Pirate: **Well, we are low on fish. Start fishing.

**Brown: **Aye aye sir!

**Tom: **WTF?

**June, 15, 1747**

**Pirate log-Tom**

**About 10:00pm**

It had been over 5 hours since we got our Sea Dragon hiding behind the Wildlife Hunter Voyager (Still, no one noticed it hiding behind the ship). We were finishing our shark dinner (We used Rick's blood as bait for the sharks (I don't know if Rick is alive, but he's floating on a pile of wood in the ocean)) and we waited until all of the pirates were asleep.

**Tom: **Finally, they're asleep. What pirate sleeps until 10:00?

**Shadow: **What pirate eats shark soup at 10:00?

**Tom: **Touché. Guard the boat while I raid the Voyager.

Using my metal claws (Gloves with large hooks on them); I climbed along the sides of the boat until I landed on the deck. I entered the treasure room. I saw a large treasure chest, but it was very light. I pulled out my jimmy stick (lockpick) and unlocked the chest. I saw a green gem shard, but that was it. Apparently, this object was worth some value since it was in a large treasure chest (the other treasure was laying on the floor). I left the room and was ready to leave, but Brown Beard tried to stop me. He pointed his saber at me.

**Brown:** Give me my treasure.

**Tom:** (Snickered) You don't realize it do you, pirates don't play fair.

I tossed the treasure chest at Brown Beard. He sliced it in half with the saber, but that left his guard down. I kicked the sword out of his hand, disarming him. I grabbed my pistol before he did and pointed it at his forehead.

**Tom:** You seem to have a lot of potential; your future seems to be worth living.

I lowered my gun.

**Tom:** I'll let you live.

I grabbed my treasure, but Brown Beard wasn't done yet. He grabbed his saber and tried to attack.

**Brown:** YOU WON'T LEAVE THIS SHIP ALIVE!!!!

I punched him in the stomach, almost knocking him out. As I left, I told him one thing.

**Tom:** If anyone asks, you had indigestion.

I swam back to my sloop. Shadow and I detached the ship from the Voyager. We decided to stay far enough to not be seen while close enough to not lose track of the Voyager. Our mission is not done yet. We needed to find out the mystery of this green shard. There was something weird about this.


	3. WARNING

This novel has ended production, possibly forever. However, if you have any ideas or a new chapter for the story, submit them to Pikazilla.


End file.
